That Manifesto in Full

Gordon says: No extension of VAT to categories of items not currently liable to VAT. That's not the same as no increase in VAT, no matter that he tried to deflect attention from this loophole by slating the Tories for their historic increases of VAT. "The Tories doubled VAT *GAPE*" he said, referring to events which happened so long ago that while we are trying to focus on this remote Tory tax hike, he'll be slipping a 1-2% VAT rise past our political myopia.

Gordon says: Targetted cuts and 'fair' taxes will enable me to half the budget deficit. The deficit that happened when "Financial Whizz" Gordon fell asleep at the wheel and crashed the economy.

Gordon says: Parents of children at underperforming schools will have the power to sack the management of that school. The fact that this will remove the onus from HMG and allow them to pass the blame to the public when our creaking education system finally collapses under its burden of bureaucracy and idiotic targets is not important, of course.

Gordon says: Every young person to have education till 18. Including special needs pupils, who then have to pay for vocational training when they have finished 2 extra years of remedial education. This was brought in by Labour. Nice.

Gordon says: There will be a cap on the costs of residential care for the elderly. What the cap actually is depends on what money is left in the pot when free residential care for the elderly in Scotland is paid for.

Gordon says: English tests for immigrants working in the public sector. What? Even doctors?

Gordon says: A referendum on changing the electoral system to Proportional Representation. This is SO obviously bait for Nick Clegg to come out and declare that he is joining an anti-Tory electoral coalition. Gordy obviously remembers how Tony Bliar not-quite-promised Paddy Pantsdown's LibDems a place in government. Ashdown and his followers lapped it up, and their positioning helped Bliar to bury the moribund Tories. No place at the top table was forthcoming, however. Hope you're reading this, Cleggy!

Gordon says: Votes for 16 year olds! From what I heard on "Any Answers" on Saturday, this is a widely supported strategem to capitalise on teenage lefty idealism to boost LibLab votes. What if they demand the right to lower legal ages for a host of activities currently not accessible to them. Hey kids, give the "Porn, Booze and Driving Party" your immediate support.

Gordon says: Strict controls on high street loan companies and doorstop lenders. what about high street banks lending to people beyond their means to repay. Didn't that happen recently?

Gordon says: High speed rail links to connect London to major cities in England and Scotland. I presume Salmond's Scottish executive, having responsibility for transport policy north of the border, will foot the bill for the Scottish part of this rail link. After all, is it fair for the English taxpayer to upgrade Scotland's transport network in time for the SNP to declare independence?

In short, this is a basket of policies remedial for the mess that Labour have caused over 13 years, policies aimed at increasing their votes, policies aimed at gulling the LibDems into playing Gordy's little helper, and vote-winning policies which Labour have no intention of implementing.

It could be worse. Let's see if the others can do worse.